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Πολύ ωραίο πάντως, στα χνάρια των ευρωπαϊκών folk τραγουδιών, να σε δω να το μελοποιείς αυτό...
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Πολυ ωραιο και τα δικα μου γουστα, μου αρεσει η ιστορια να εχει progress μεσα στο κομματι και το εχεις πετυχει ομορφα εδω. Θα του πηγαινε το στυλ του Highway-man της αγαπημενης Loreena ετσι οπως το διαβασα.
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Αυτο ακριβώς μου θύμισε κι εμένα! Πολύ καλό εννοείται...
Εραστής του έντεχνου μεταλλικού ήχου.
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Αλλο ενα κομματι απο το Miasma που ειχε βγει το 2010, παντα να σας φτιαξει το κεφι στιχουργικα!
The Eternal Suffering / Murder The Dawn για οποιον ενδιαφερεται στην Dissection-black metal σκηνη
"You brought this upon yourselves..."
An infinite wanderer
Against the currents of time
Chaos drifter, an eternal pilgrim
Always alone, a true nomad of night
In the midst of his utter corruption
When his soul transformation begun
Black wings covered the light's apparition
An early manifestation of what he'd become
Enraptured by a “painting”
That ravished the eye,
He remained serene and enticed
Seduced for infinity in a moment in time
I hate you so...
I hate you all
I'll unravel the solar illusion
Death and Decay I'll bestow upon your world
Weep yourself to a state of extinction
Call your angels to intone their dirge
Cheerful laughter turns to desperate cries
A blood dripping sunrise is burning your eyes
In the midst of my utter corruption
As my ultimate act of disdain
Black wings cover the light's apparition
This is my crime, this is what I became
Fear the night
Unending and silent I stand
I murdered the Dawn
Again and again
I stabbed
I murdered the dawn
Perverse euphoria is reaching the light
Perpetual are the horrors of the night
Shatter your dreams of prosperity and ease
Blinded and lightless you scream for release
Reborn I stand
Above your world
Pitiful is the life you adore
I awoke and I murdered the Dawn
Somber skies will haunt you forever
Mournful thoughts forge the chains of despair
I am your right, I am your wrong
I awoke and I murdered the Dawn
The Eternal Suffering / Murder The Dawn για οποιον ενδιαφερεται στην Dissection-black metal σκηνη
"You brought this upon yourselves..."
An infinite wanderer
Against the currents of time
Chaos drifter, an eternal pilgrim
Always alone, a true nomad of night
In the midst of his utter corruption
When his soul transformation begun
Black wings covered the light's apparition
An early manifestation of what he'd become
Enraptured by a “painting”
That ravished the eye,
He remained serene and enticed
Seduced for infinity in a moment in time
I hate you so...
I hate you all
I'll unravel the solar illusion
Death and Decay I'll bestow upon your world
Weep yourself to a state of extinction
Call your angels to intone their dirge
Cheerful laughter turns to desperate cries
A blood dripping sunrise is burning your eyes
In the midst of my utter corruption
As my ultimate act of disdain
Black wings cover the light's apparition
This is my crime, this is what I became
Fear the night
Unending and silent I stand
I murdered the Dawn
Again and again
I stabbed
I murdered the dawn
Perverse euphoria is reaching the light
Perpetual are the horrors of the night
Shatter your dreams of prosperity and ease
Blinded and lightless you scream for release
Reborn I stand
Above your world
Pitiful is the life you adore
I awoke and I murdered the Dawn
Somber skies will haunt you forever
Mournful thoughts forge the chains of despair
I am your right, I am your wrong
I awoke and I murdered the Dawn
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Στo despair αν και άρτιο "τεχνικα", δεν με είχε ψήσει το subject matter πολυ. Αυτο εδώ είναι πολύ πιο κοντά στο γούστο μου. Ωραίο λεξιλόγιο και εικόνες. Ποιοτικότατοι "dark metal" στιχοι.
Εραστής του έντεχνου μεταλλικού ήχου.
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Το Despair ηταν το concept της απογνωσης που οδηγει σε αυτοκτονια ουσιαστικα με τους lead ρολους να εναλλασονται μεταξυ του ανθρωπου και της απογνωσης(σαν ξεχωριστος χαρακτηρας) οποτε ηταν λιγο πιο "γηινο" το concept.
Εδω ειναι πιο κοντα σε αυτα που γραφω ετσι κι αλλιως, το 80% των στιχων μου εχουν μεσα το φανταστικο στοιχειο και παντα προσπαθω "να πω μια ιστορια" μεσα σε ενα τραγουδι. Μαυριλα ειναι διαχυτη στον δισκο λογω μουσικου προσανατολισμου, θα ανεβασω καποιο απο τον δισκο των Sacred Outcry που θα βγει, σιγουρα θα ειναι πιο "μεσα" στο forum σαν αισθητικη
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Απιστευτο!
Οι στιχοι αυτοι γραφτηκαν αφου ακουσα το Highway man και επαθα την πλακα μου!
Συγκεκριμενα ειχα ζηλεψει τοσο πολυ τους στιχους του Highway man και αποφασισα να γραψω κατι αντιστοιχο.
Σε ευχαριστω για το σχόλιό σου. Σημαινει πολλα για εμενα.
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[mention]Aphelian[/mention] Δεν ξερω για την αισθητικη του forum.
Απλα το despair ηταν πολυ εξω απο την διαθεση μου και δυσκολευτηκα να το ακολουθησω.
Το "You brought this upon yourselves..." ειναι πιο "ουδετερο" και δεν χρειαζεται (πιστευω) καποια συγκεκριμενη διαθεση.
Σε καθε περιπτωση μου κολλησε πιο καλα.
Η τελευταια στροφη ειναι γαμάτη!
Απλα το despair ηταν πολυ εξω απο την διαθεση μου και δυσκολευτηκα να το ακολουθησω.
Το "You brought this upon yourselves..." ειναι πιο "ουδετερο" και δεν χρειαζεται (πιστευω) καποια συγκεκριμενη διαθεση.
Σε καθε περιπτωση μου κολλησε πιο καλα.
Η τελευταια στροφη ειναι γαμάτη!
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Απιστευτο οντως! Και απιστευτη δισκαρα αυτο το Book of Secrets, νομιζω το αγαπημενο μου!Corum Jhaelen Irsei έγραψε: ↑Πέμ 11 Οκτ 2018, 13:51Απιστευτο!
Οι στιχοι αυτοι γραφτηκαν αφου ακουσα το Highway man και επαθα την πλακα μου!
Συγκεκριμενα ειχα ζηλεψει τοσο πολυ τους στιχους του Highway man και αποφασισα να γραψω κατι αντιστοιχο.
Σε ευχαριστω για το σχόλιό σου. Σημαινει πολλα για εμενα.
Το κομματι σου ειναι πολυ καλογραμμενο και μου βγαζει το storytelling με εναν ιδιατερο τροπο, μακαρι να γινουν τραγουδια ολα αυτα καποια μερα!
Ενα υποχρεωτικο σχολιο επειδη ειμαι ψυχαναγκαστικος,
"Oh how he could sweet talk her
To his bed by night he brought her
And plant her with his spore" νομιζω πρεπει να αντικαταστησεις το spore με seed.
μου αρεσει αυτο το τοπικ, θα ξθελα να δω και αλλα κομματια απο αλλα μελη, μεχρι τοτε κρατα τη σημαια ψηλα [mention]Corum Jhaelen Irsei[/mention]
ΥΣ:Το παραπανω κομματι λεγεται "Murder the Dawn" το αλλο ειναι ουσιαστικα ο πρωτος στιχος να μπει το κομματι (ειναι και πρωτο στο δισκο οποτε ηθελε τσαμπουκα )
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Ο τροπος που σκεφτεσαι ειναι ενοχλητικα/ανησυχητικα κοντα στον δικο μου.
Το spore επιλεχθηκε για να κανει ριμα με τους πρωτους 2 στιχους σε αυτην την στροφη.
Εδω βαζω και τις 3 στροφες που ειναι του ιδιου "ειδους".
Βλεπεις η ριμα ειναι 1,2,6.
Οποτε το spore κανει ριμα με το wore/shore
Δεν ειναι καλη επιλογη λεξης και με βασανισε αρκετα.
Οπως βλεπεις το seed εχει ηδη χρησιμοποιηθει.
--- The sun bellowed on his skin and windmills combed his hair
--- Soon he found himself to be in the midst of a village fair
He met a merchant's daughter
Oh how he could sweet talk her
To his bed by night he brought her
--- And gave her of his share
--- Winds of salt blew on his face and sails as wings he wore
Flew over hills and mountains to reach a distant shore
He met a captain's daughter
Oh how he could sweet talk her
--- To his bed by night he brought her
--- And plant her with his spore
--- The jaws of war close down on him and he could not foresee
--- That soon he would become a knight and swear on a bent knee
He met the king's first daughter
Oh how he could sweet talk her
To his bed by night he brought her
--- And plant her with his seed
Hint: [mention]Aphelian[/mention] Οι στιχοι που εχω γραψει τραγουδιουνται πανω στο Highway man με τον ενα ή με τον αλλο τροπο... αν προσπαθησεις, θα δεις...
Το spore επιλεχθηκε για να κανει ριμα με τους πρωτους 2 στιχους σε αυτην την στροφη.
Εδω βαζω και τις 3 στροφες που ειναι του ιδιου "ειδους".
Βλεπεις η ριμα ειναι 1,2,6.
Οποτε το spore κανει ριμα με το wore/shore
Δεν ειναι καλη επιλογη λεξης και με βασανισε αρκετα.
Οπως βλεπεις το seed εχει ηδη χρησιμοποιηθει.
--- The sun bellowed on his skin and windmills combed his hair
--- Soon he found himself to be in the midst of a village fair
He met a merchant's daughter
Oh how he could sweet talk her
To his bed by night he brought her
--- And gave her of his share
--- Winds of salt blew on his face and sails as wings he wore
Flew over hills and mountains to reach a distant shore
He met a captain's daughter
Oh how he could sweet talk her
--- To his bed by night he brought her
--- And plant her with his spore
--- The jaws of war close down on him and he could not foresee
--- That soon he would become a knight and swear on a bent knee
He met the king's first daughter
Oh how he could sweet talk her
To his bed by night he brought her
--- And plant her with his seed
Hint: [mention]Aphelian[/mention] Οι στιχοι που εχω γραψει τραγουδιουνται πανω στο Highway man με τον ενα ή με τον αλλο τροπο... αν προσπαθησεις, θα δεις...
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- Εγγραφή: Παρ 29 Δεκ 2017, 19:30
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Ωραίοι στίχοι indeed. Ίσως να πω κ μλκία, αλλά ο αφηγηματικός τους χαρακτήρας μου έφερε στο μυαλό το στυλ του Spanish Train του De Burg:
There's a Spanish train that runs between
Guadalquivir and old Saville,
And at dead of night the whistle blows,
and people hear she's running still...
And then they hush their children back to sleep,
Lock the doors, upstairs they creep,
For it is said that the souls of the dead
Fill that train ten thousand deep!!
Well a railwayman lay dying with his people by his side,
His family were crying, knelt in prayer before he died,
But above his bed just a-waiting for the dead,
Was the Devil with a twinkle in his eye,
"Well God's not around and look what I've found,
this one's mine!!"
Just then the Lord himself appeared in a blinding flash of light,
And shouted at the Devil, "Get thee hence to endless night!!"
But the Devil just grinned and said "I may have sinned,
But there's no need to push me around,
I got him first so you can do your worst,
He's going underground!!"
"But I think I'll give you one more chance"
said the Devil with a smile,
"So throw away that stupid lance,
It's really not your style",
"Joker is the name, Poker is the game,
we'll play right here on this bed,
And then we'll bet for the biggest stakes yet,
the souls of the dead!!"
And I said "Look out, Lord, He's going to win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is dead on time, many souls are on the line,
Oh Lord, He's going to win!.."
Well the railwayman he cut the cards
And he dealt them each a hand of five,
And for the Lord he was praying hard
Or that train he'd have to drive...
Well the Devil he had three aces and a king,
And the Lord, he was running for a straight,
He had the queen and the knave and nine and ten of spades,
All he needed was the eight...
And then the Lord he called for one more card,
But he drew the diamond eight,
And the Devil said to the son of God,
"I believe you've got it straight,
So deal me one for the time has come
To see who'll be the king of this place,
But as he spoke, from beneath his cloak,
He slipped another ace...
Ten thousand souls was the opening bid,
And it soon went up to fifty-nine,
But the Lord didn't see what the Devil did,
And he said "that suits me fine",
"I'll raise you high to a hundred and five,
And forever put an end to your sins",
But the Devil let out a mighty shout, "My hand wins!!"
And I said "Lord, oh Lord, you let him win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is dead on time, many souls are on the line,
Oh Lord, don't let him win..."
Well that Spanish train still runs between,
Guadalquivir and old Saville,
And at dead of night the whistle blows,
And people fear she's running still...
And far away in some recess
The Lord and the Devil are now playing chess,
The Devil still cheats and wins more souls,
And as for the Lord, well, he's just doing his best...
And I said "Lord, oh Lord, you've got to win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is still on time, oh my soul is on the line,
Oh Lord, you've got to win..."
There's a Spanish train that runs between
Guadalquivir and old Saville,
And at dead of night the whistle blows,
and people hear she's running still...
And then they hush their children back to sleep,
Lock the doors, upstairs they creep,
For it is said that the souls of the dead
Fill that train ten thousand deep!!
Well a railwayman lay dying with his people by his side,
His family were crying, knelt in prayer before he died,
But above his bed just a-waiting for the dead,
Was the Devil with a twinkle in his eye,
"Well God's not around and look what I've found,
this one's mine!!"
Just then the Lord himself appeared in a blinding flash of light,
And shouted at the Devil, "Get thee hence to endless night!!"
But the Devil just grinned and said "I may have sinned,
But there's no need to push me around,
I got him first so you can do your worst,
He's going underground!!"
"But I think I'll give you one more chance"
said the Devil with a smile,
"So throw away that stupid lance,
It's really not your style",
"Joker is the name, Poker is the game,
we'll play right here on this bed,
And then we'll bet for the biggest stakes yet,
the souls of the dead!!"
And I said "Look out, Lord, He's going to win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is dead on time, many souls are on the line,
Oh Lord, He's going to win!.."
Well the railwayman he cut the cards
And he dealt them each a hand of five,
And for the Lord he was praying hard
Or that train he'd have to drive...
Well the Devil he had three aces and a king,
And the Lord, he was running for a straight,
He had the queen and the knave and nine and ten of spades,
All he needed was the eight...
And then the Lord he called for one more card,
But he drew the diamond eight,
And the Devil said to the son of God,
"I believe you've got it straight,
So deal me one for the time has come
To see who'll be the king of this place,
But as he spoke, from beneath his cloak,
He slipped another ace...
Ten thousand souls was the opening bid,
And it soon went up to fifty-nine,
But the Lord didn't see what the Devil did,
And he said "that suits me fine",
"I'll raise you high to a hundred and five,
And forever put an end to your sins",
But the Devil let out a mighty shout, "My hand wins!!"
And I said "Lord, oh Lord, you let him win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is dead on time, many souls are on the line,
Oh Lord, don't let him win..."
Well that Spanish train still runs between,
Guadalquivir and old Saville,
And at dead of night the whistle blows,
And people fear she's running still...
And far away in some recess
The Lord and the Devil are now playing chess,
The Devil still cheats and wins more souls,
And as for the Lord, well, he's just doing his best...
And I said "Lord, oh Lord, you've got to win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is still on time, oh my soul is on the line,
Oh Lord, you've got to win..."
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning, We will remember them.
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Χαχα, πριν που το ξαναδιαβασα το δοκιμασα ασυναισθητα!Corum Jhaelen Irsei έγραψε: ↑Πέμ 11 Οκτ 2018, 15:36
Hint: @Aphelian Οι στιχοι που εχω γραψει τραγουδιουνται πανω στο Highway man με τον ενα ή με τον αλλο τροπο... αν προσπαθησεις, θα δεις...
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[mention]Scrollkeeper[/mention] Καλα, ναι, τραγουδαρα και στιχαρες...
[mention]Aphelian[/mention] :-)
[mention]Aphelian[/mention] :-)
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Μια απορία, στο ''And plant her with his spore'' το plant είναι αόριστος; Είναι άλλο ρήμα από το γνωστό plant (φυτεύω); Αν είναι το γνωστό plant δεν θα γινόταν planted στον αόριστο;
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Σωστος! Νομιζα οτι ειναι ανωμαλο...
Αλλα δεν ειναι.
Πρεπει να ξανακοιταξω τα σημεια.
Ευχαριστω!
Ισως ετσι να φυγει και το "spore".